The MMLIST Welcome Letter

Welcome to Moderation Management!

Welcome to MM!

                No matter how you got here, we hope you'll find us  diverse, caring, flexible, and non-judgmental. We're also funny, smart and most of us don't like to be told what to do.  Some of us have been here for years, but many people join weekly so there are always lots of newer folks here too.  We are a group of equals, so the minute you "stepped through the door" of MM you became just as valued and important as everyone else.

                At any time of the day or night, 365 days a year, you and all MM members can send emails ("posts") that can be read by every other MM'er ("posting to the list"). The MM community is a place to share our experiences and thoughts, to give each other encouragement and support, and sometimes just to be around other people who understand what it's like to face the real-world challenges of managing our drinking.

                You will soon be receiving an information letter detailing some of the more common questions (such as how to post to the list, tips on managing your email, some suggested "next steps", etc.).  You're encouraged to read through it to get the most you can out of your MM experience, and hopefully, as so many others have already discovered, you will find this to be a uniquely helpful and one-of-a-kind place.

                Belonging to MM is all about making good choices.  We're glad you've chosen to join us!

                The MM Welcome Message Team (Caljim, Donna, Goldie, John, Kurt)

Hi, and again welcome to MM!

Please save (and/or print) this message, as it contains some important and useful information, including:

** How the MM email list (listserv) works

** Managing your email

** Valuable Resources on the Web Site

** More ways to meet up with other MM'ers (Face to Face & Online Chat)

** Next steps



To create a NEW email that will go to the whole list... - Click on [Compose] or [New] (depending on your particular email). - Type in the "To" box. - Type something in the "Subject" box. - Compose your email. - Click [Send]

sTo send a REPLY to a post that will go to the whole list... - Click on [Reply all] or [Reply all].  Hitting [Reply] will not send your message to the entire list, just to the individual. - Click into the "To" box and delete any addresses except . - Add your reply (usually to the top of the original email). Include only the post, or the part of it, that you're responding to, in your reply. That makes it easier to read and our listserv has a size limit to each message. - Click [Send]

Listserv Problems?  Email your questions to:


- AN INTRODUCTION: After you've signed up, say hi and tell us a bit about yourself. Or just hang out and  “listen” for a while.  Whenever you feel comfortable, we welcome your participation on the list.

- POSTING LIMITS: No one post can be over 20K in size (which also means no attachments), and MM limits the total number of posts from each member to no more than 18 posts in any one day.

- WHAT ABOUT MISTAKES?  Don't be the least bit concerned about making mistakes in spelling or grammar or composition.  This isn't a contest and nobody is grading you!

- OFF-TOPIC POSTS:  Almost any topic is OK to discuss, but if it clearly has NOTHING to do with drinking (like sharing a good joke or Aunt Mildred's pie recipe) then please put "OT"   in the subject line.

- POSTING ETIQUETTE.  Be honest, but be respectful.  It's OK to be direct - we're all adults here - but it's NOT OK to attack or belittle another MM member.  It's good to avoid things that we all know could easily lead to controversy (such as conversations about politics or religion).  Profanity is discouraged--be creative or use asterisks.

SOLICITATIONS:  Misuse of the MM email list is rare.  However, if you receive any emails addressed only to you that are asking for money, enticing you to join other non-MM groups, or any other inappropriate solicitations, please report it to .


ABS:   Abstaining from alcohol

ABS LIST and ROAD TOUR-a monthly list of “absers” updated daily and maintained by Sarah.  This involves a virtual tour or adventure.

ABSTAR:      The MM daily drink-counting website (/abstar/).  Your account can be public (everyone can see it) or private.

ANTABUSE  (DISULFRAM)—a drug taken to support abstinence (if you’ve taken it you get sick when you drink)

BAC:              Blood alcohol concentration (/bac/).  A measure of the amount of un-metabolized alcohol in the blood (how drunk you are).  Depends on gender, age, weight, and number of drinks over time.

BABY STEPS.  Approaching change in small steps (example: start measuring and counting drinks).

BTB/MOP/ABS ROSTER—A daily updated list of members’ drinking goals.

BTB--By The Book moderation), refers to the book RESPONSIBLE DRINKING      and means drinking no more than 3 drinks a day and 9 a week for women, or 4 a  day and 14 a week for men, with at least 3 or 4 non-drinking days a week.

CAMPRAL (ACAMPROSATE)   A drug that inhibits alcohol cravings for some.

CBC—Cognitive Behavioral Change.  Much of the MM program involves Cognitive Behavioral Change.

CHAT             The MM chatroom  (/chat/)

CRAZINGS:             Strong urges or cravings for alcohol

CRINGE MOMENT; Some particularly embarrassing or harmful event related to drinking.

DH:    Dear husband

DW:    Dear Wife

ETOH, (abbreviation for  ETHYL ALCOHOL) consumable alcohol.

F2F –Face-to-face, as in a F2F MM meeting.

HARM REDUCTION (HR):  The philosophy underlying Moderation Management: behavior change need not be all or nothing.  Any reduction of the harm associated with drinking is positive.  Change may be approached in small steps.  Each individual chooses his/her own goal.

IMHO / IMO --In My Humble Opinion / In My Opinion

LIMO RIDE—a list of drinking commitments for the week.  Like the Abs List and Tour, this involves an imaginary sightseeing journey.

MODS:          Moderation, drinking moderately

MOP--My Own Plan--individual whatever-works-for-me plan.

NA BEV.  Non-alcoholic beverage.

NALTREXONE:  (trade name Revia) A medication which inhibits alcohol cravings.  Used to support abstinence or moderation.

NEWBIE       New to MM.  After a few posts to the list, this condition will no longer apply

OLDIE OR OLDBIE --someone who has been with MM for a while

PIZZA PARTY—A group fund-raising where everyone sends the price of a large pizza to MM.

PUI:  Posting Under the Influence.  Not recommended (“don’t log on with a load on.”)

RD      RESPONSIBLE DRINKING. by Rotgers, Kern, & Hoelltzl.

( )

Very user-friendly, it details real-life experiences of MM members.

SO:     Significant Other

SSRI:  Selective Serotonin Reuptake Inhibitor (a class of anti-depressants)

STAGES OF CHANGE.  Theory that change occurs in stages, detailed in the book

 by Prochaska, Norcross, and DiClemente

The stages are conceptualized as:

  • 1. Precontemplation (“I don’t have a problem.”
2. Contemplation  (“I might have a problem.”
3. Preparation (“I do have a problem.  What would I have to do to change?”)

  • 4. Action (“I’m acting to make some changes.”)
  • 5. Maintenance (“You mean I have to do this forever?”)
  • 6. Recycling. Learning from Relapse.
  • STICKY—A daily roster of everyone who’s not drinking.  This is a sticky note on Charlotte’s refrigerator.

    TBD:              To Be Determined, as in 10/TBD (10 days abstinence of a period yet to be determined).

    “A THIRTY”            A 30 consecutive day period in which the member completely abstains from alcohol

    TOOL BOX—The individual collection of moderation techniques that each person acquires (examples:  planning, using non-alcoholic beverages, learning to deal with triggers).

    TRIGGER—A situation, emotion, person, or place which triggers the urge to drink.

    URGE SURFING    Riding out drink cravings.

    WNE:             “Weird Nervous Energy”.  Energy frequently experienced around the 6th day of  alcohol abstinence and lasting as long as the 20th day

    WTF   What the Fudge. 

    WTF MOMENT—“Oh, the heck with it.”  All good intentions fly out the window.

    YMMV:         “Your Mileage May Vary”—results may be individual.

    #//#:                                A numerical representation of one’s progress in an Abs or BTB plan where the first number represent the amount of days completed and the second number represents the intended length of the plan in days.  Example:  10/30 means 10 days of a planned 30-day abstinence period has been completed.

    There are many others, you'll catch on.  Just ask if you need somebody to clarify.


    * Will my posts show up somewhere else?

    We periodically survey searches on Google to check that list messages are not being copied anywhere outside our systems. We also check other services. (Yahoo, MSN, etc.) To date, we have found NO evidence that any Listserv messages or archives are being indexed by any search engine.  In other words, list messages are not “google-able.”

    * Will my Name be posted with my message?

    The answer to this depends on the name you are sending with your Email address when you send mail. When you send Email to ANYONE, your Email system can be configured to include a Sender's Name field. Often this contains your name. We don't care if this name is a a "list name" or your "real name"; this choice is up to you.
      TIP: You can see what the email address contains that another person will receive by the simple trick of sending an Email message to yourself.
      The listserv sees and posts the SAME information that anyone else would see when an Email is received. So if you are posting and your name is in the Email message, this name will ALSO APPEAR in the posted message to the list. To change the name in the message you are posting to the listserv, just change the name that is used as the "Sender's Name" in your Email system. (And test by sending yourself mail.)

    * What about the Name I chose with my Listserv Subscription?

    The name in your Listserv subscription is used in only a few cases, and normally is never seen. This is NOT the name that is used when you post messages to the list; this name comes from your Email system. (See above.) The name in your subscription is seen by Listserv Admins, and will be included if you post using the online form that is available in the Listserv software if you have created an ICORS.ORG login. (Almost no-one uses this system.)  Names in subscriptions are completely optional, and we don't ask for your "real name."
      Also note that the Listserv subscriber list is not published, even to subscribers to the Listserv. So the only way a fellow Listserv subscriber will know you are subscribed is if you post to the Listserv itself.

    * Protecting your privacy with an anonymous email account:

    Many users have found using free email accounts from Google's Gmail, Yahoo mail, or Hotmail helps protect privacy. These accounts can be set to send mail with any name you choose; subscribers need not use their "real names" when posting to the Listserv.  If you originally signed up with a name or address you'd prefer to keep private, just go to, and 1) un-subscribe your private address and 2)  subscribe again with your  new address.

    *Choosing how MM email comes to you...

    See the Online Groups page for the Listserv Management Form (VERY SIMPLE), and a collection of user guides and other materials:

    You may receive your MM email in  either REGULAR or DIGEST options. With the REGULAR option, you'll receive individual posts as soon as they're sent. This is what most people use and is the best option if you want to dive right in.   If you choose the DIGEST option you'll receive one long email containing about 25 messages either once a day or a few times each day (depending on list volume).

    * You want no more MM list email?

    On the page you can choose to temporarily go "No Mail" while you're on vacation or just want to stop receiving MM email f or a while.  You can change your subscription back to REGULAR  or DIGEST delivery whenever you want to begin receiving MM email again.

    To unsubscribe and leave MM:
    Go to this link:, enter your
    email address under "To un-subscribe:"
    Then click on [UNSUBSCRIBE - Leave the MM Listserv].
    You will need to respond to an email confirmation to complete the unsubscription.

    * “SUB-LISTS”

    For a listing of lower volume, special interest MM groups go to

    VALUABLE RESOURCES ON THE MM WEBSITE (and some links that aren't):

    * The FAQ page is highly recommended. It is packed full of advice and experiences of successful MM'ers. Go to:

    * The "Recommended Reading" page has lots of book listings and links and ordering information. ( If you order a book or anything else through the Amazon or Barnes & Noble links on this page, MM will get a small percentage of the price.)  The books page is here:


    For a WORKSHEET to record daily drinks and other changes:
    Want to find a THERAPIST who'll support moderate drinking?:

    * MM ABSTAR:

    This is a tool many of us use to track our daily intake and ABS (abstaining) days.
    You can have a private or a public record  It is located at:

    *Need to contact Moderation Management with any other questions?
    Use our online form:,
    Or email to :

    MORE WAYS TO MEET UP WITH OTHER MM'ERS (Face to Face & Online Chat)

    * FACE TO FACE GROUPS:  To find out if there's an MM meeting near you go to this link:

    * CHAT:  You can chat on-line in "real time" with other MM members.  There are regularly scheduled chats, both "formal on-line meetings" and "social" chats.  Plus, the chat room is open 24 hours a day, so feel free to check into chat any time you want and chat with anyone else who might be there.

    To go into chat and/or find schedules, go to this link:

    - Caution:  The MM chat is open to the public, so it's a good idea to limit any personal information that you share.  Please be cautious of anyone trying to solicit money from you and/or entice you to join other groups or chats that are not affiliated with MM.  If it's not on the chat link above, it's not a MM chat room. 
    ONLY groups that are listed at are affiliated with MM.

    - If you have questions or problems using chat, or feel anyone is abusing chat,
    please email to:


    A common question is "what should I do first or next?"  There are no "shoulds" here.  There's no right or wrong way.  You're on a journey, and the only one who can decide where you're headed and how you might best get there is YOU!  But here are some great suggestions:

    - You've already signed up to this list, so you've already done the first best thing for yourself!

    - Just thinking about change is a good starting place.

    - Gather information.  Make small changes; "baby steps."

    - Changing your drinking habits doesn't happen all at once.

    - Hang out on the list and read, write and absorb.

    - Post to the list.

    - Focus your motivation to change.  Write it down.

    - Get *Responsible Drinking* (order online:

    - Start recording your daily/weekly drinking.

    - If you're a daily drinker, start putting a no-drinking day into your week.

    - Start cutting down the number of drinks in any one day, even if just a little.

    If you have questions about how MM works, or how others have handled certain drinking issues, or pretty much ANY question or comment about almost anything you can think of, POST IT TO THE LIST.  You may be surprised to find out that there are many others who have gone through, and are STILL dealing with, situations very much the same as your own.

    This isn't just "the" MMs list, this is *YOUR* MM list... Welcome!

    From the MM Welcome Message Team (John & Goldie & Donna & Caljim & Kurt)

    Please refer any technical questions about MMLIST
    using our contact form and the link below: