The Sublime Gifts of Alcohol Moderation

A guest post by Susan Keller

I’ve been working on alcohol minimization for over a year. It’s not the easiest thing I’ve ever done; nor has it been the hardest. 

Over the years, my husband, Dan, and I enjoyed a couple glasses of wine with dinner. It was what everyone we knew did after a stressful day of work, commuting, parenting, and keeping the house running. 

In January 2023, Dan and I decided to have a dry month. Some nights it was a real battle to resist a drink. But 31 days was an achievable goal with an end in sight. We put on a warrior mentality and stayed dry. Well, at least until the end of the month, when we jumped off the wagon. We joked that we should have chosen February with only 28 days. 

Then, we needed to make a decision.  

What did that dry January mean? Would we go back to our previous habits, or would this be a new way to live? 

We chose the latter. We wouldn’t give up drinking, but only indulge on “special” occasions. Although in February, there was Valentine’s Day, Dan’s birthday, and a couple of festivities on the 19th hole. We indulged, and it was fun. We’d both cut down from 60 drinks a month to a few Happy Hours, at two drinks max.

Each of us defines our own special occasions. What will yours be? Finally donated those Goodwill bags? Fertilized the house plants? Organized those deductible receipts? You’ve got to decide. Just be careful of “It was such a lousy day….” Or “I need to relax….” Those can be slippery slopes that become all-too-common reasons to return to former over-drinking habits. 

When you’ve been drinking for years—or decades, like Dan and I—giving up Happy Hour, without an end in sight, takes a mighty big resolve. However, there are compelling reasons to minimize alcohol consumption, and sublime gifts along the way that you wouldn’t have anticipated.

Photo by Taylen Lundequam

Your Sleep Will Improve

With alcohol minimization, I’ve had a number of phenomenal dreams. I woke one morning before six and thought I might not be able to go back to sleep, but I did. I slept and had the most vivid dream about the San Francisco Bay and the Golden Gate Bridge. It was so textural, so calming. Lovely. I was actually a part of the Bay and the Bridge. Oh, the rest was fantastic.

You’ll Feel Proud of Yourself

Another surprising benefit: Every morning after a non-alcohol night, I go to my month-at-a-glance calendar on my desk and write Dry in red marker. It gives me a tingle. I’m happy with my progress. Some months are really red; others are splotchy like a bad case of chicken pox. Still, it makes me feel proud. After decades of nightly drinking, I am cutting back more and more. I don’t intend to be alcohol free, nor will I allow alcohol back in my life every time the clock strikes five.

I plan when I’m going to drink moderately. Say, at a dinner party, after a round of golf, or on a birthday. So, that might be six or eight glasses a month. I am fine with that. I’m happy to enjoy a small amount of wine—or my favorite, champagne—on a special occasion. Why not? It’s now under control.

Honestly, with more alcohol-free nights, I am feeling less and less need for a glass of something in the evening. Still, occasionally I do give in to my urges. Breaking a long-standing habit is a journey, not an event. And there is something about not drinking that is becoming a part of me. It’s profound and subtle. 

I wrote my latest book, Mostly Sober: A Love Story and a Road Trip, to help others overcome a stubborn habit. I cannot solve the problems of those who have a true physical addiction. That could require drugs, an in-patient recovery, or even AA. 

In Mostly Sober, my protagonist loosens the bonds of an everyday drinking habit. The story takes place in 1983 when there was little help for the person who wanted to cut back on their habit. Thankfully, that has changed. Today, there are communities (like Moderation Management), science-based apps, podcasts, and books to help. I have used these resources to minimize my own drinking. They can help you too. 

Your reasons to cut back are admirable. The road to minimization can be rough, but oh so rewarding. You will find a way and thank yourself for a long, healthful, and happy life. 

Susan Keller is an author and essayist. Her latest book is ‘Mostly Sober: A Love Story and a Road Trip’. Find out more at www.susankeller.com