Intermittent Sobriety: My Sweet Spot

For nearly three years, my husband, Dan, and I have been drinking about eight alcoholic drinks a month. Special occasions only. Prior to that, we drank a glass or two of wine with dinner. Every single night. For decades. Our new pattern of only occasional drinks on those occasions we deem special is our version of Intermittent Sobriety: a flexible approach where we choose to be alcohol-free most of the time without giving up drinking altogether.

We cherish our new lifestyle. Special occasions for us happen at the 19^th hole, at a dinner party, or on vacation. We went to Alaska last summer and I ordered a Moose Kiss from the bartender in our train compartment. Have to admit that the best thing about it was the name. I think it was mostly watered-down coffee.

Going from 60 drinks a month to eight was only moderately difficult. But we’d never done a Dryuary, and I wanted to try it—alcohol-free for 31 days.

A Dryuary Disaster that Turned Out Okay

However, in late-December, I got Norovirus. I was in bed for four weeks, had no structure to my day, got no exercise, and my circadian rhythm was completely thrown off. I found myself bored and restless, and drinking in the evening started to feel like the only bright spot in my day—something many of us can probably relate to during tough stretches. I’d turn on Grey’s Anatomy and pour a drink.

By the end of January, I was over the flu, getting morning sun, exercising, and still drinking. What happened? Where did my dry January go?

Luckily, this pattern didn’t last long. I woke up from my doldrums and got back into a much more healthful routine, thanks in large part to the resources and support available through Moderation Management. I returned to Intermittent Sobriety.

Staying mostly alcohol free is so good for my health, and for Dan’s. And for yours. We don’t need to give up alcohol forever; Intermittent Sobriety offers meaningful benefits.

By sticking to eight drinks a month, my liver, brain, and heart are healthier. I sleep better. My skin isn’t ruddy. I ingest fewer calories. I’m a better wife and partner for Dan in his mostly sober lifestyle. We will be around longer for our kids and grandsons.

Reminding myself of these benefits really helps when the urge strikes. I admit, I do still feel the urge once in a while. But after I accept that the urge to drink is there, it goes away. This might only take five to ten minutes.

Over time, I’ve realized that the urge is a lot bigger than the reward. Tonight, I’ll be alcohol free again. I’ll pour a glass of non-alcoholic wine, settle in for some TV, and finish the evening with herbal tea.

I am breaking a habit, not an addiction. In the morning after a dry night, I feel a trickle of joy, quiet but steady. And with it, a sense of empowerment.

Now, Dryer July Is Approaching

With July approaching, I’m wondering: can I go even drier than my usual eight drinks a month? Can I try a full dry month again and have a better experience than in January? I don’t know the answer yet. I just know that Intermittent Sobriety is my sweet spot.

If you’re curious, try exploring Intermittent Sobriety—on your own terms, at your own pace. Moderation Management has excellent tools to help you reach your goals. These include:

• Kickstart courses to guide your journey
• Meetings & Online Communities for shared support
• Resources to help you reach your goals.

Try it, and you’ll thank yourself, I promise. Intermittent Sobriety is a gift you give yourself, and all the people around you whom you love.

About the Author

Susan Keller is an author and essayist. Her latest book is Mostly Sober: A Love Story and a Road Trip. Find out more at www.susankeller.com

Image by dungthuyvunguyen from Pixabay