Cravings Aren’t Commands: How Urge Surfing Can Set You Free

One of the most powerful tools for managing alcohol cravings is urge surfing. Paired with grounding techniques, urge surfing helps you feel calmer, more in control, and less reactive when cravings strike.

Have you ever felt a craving come out of nowhere, that sudden pull toward a drink that feels impossible to resist? You’re not alone. The good news: cravings are a lot like waves. They rise, peak, and eventually fade. With the right tools, you can learn to ride them out instead of feeling pulled under.

What Is Urge Surfing?

Urge surfing is a mindfulness technique often used in Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (DBT), moderation management, and harm-reduction approaches. Instead of fighting a craving or immediately giving in, you learn to observe it, breathe through it, and let it pass on its own.

Try to think of it this way:

1. The craving is the wave
2. Your breath is the surfboard
3. Your job is simply to ride it out—without judgment, panic, or pressure

Urge surfing is a tool that reminds us that cravings are temporary, not commands.

Why Pair Urge Surfing With Grounding?

In the heat of the moment, urge surfing can feel difficult. That’s where grounding techniques come in. Grounding anchors you to the present and helps calm your nervous system, making it easier to ride out cravings.

Think of urge surfing as balancing on the surfboard—and grounding as “dropping an anchor” when the water gets rough.

Grounding Techniques to Try

Grounding helps by engaging your senses and body, which reduces anxiety and supports craving management. Try these evidence-informed practices.

1. Rainbow Scan: Look around and find one object for each color of the rainbow. This playful exercise redirects your focus away from cravings.

Science: Visual scanning shifts brain activity from the emotional centers to the prefrontal cortex, helping regulate impulses.

2. Temperature Shift: Hold an ice cube, sip hot tea, splash cold water on your face, or take a shower. Sudden temperature changes snap your focus back to your body.

Science: Temperature shifts stimulate the vagus nerve, activating the parasympathetic nervous system to reduce stress.

3. Comfort Object: Keep a small soothing item nearby—a photo, gemstone, essential oil, fidget tool, or fabric swatch—and focus on its texture, scent, or meaning.

Science: Sensory input lowers cortisol and creates a sense of safety and grounding.

4. Movement Reset: Take a short walk, stretch, or shake out your arms and legs. Even dancing for a song or two works.

Science: Movement releases endorphins and lowers stress hormones, helping regulate urges.

5. Breathing Practices

• Box Breathing—Inhale 4, hold 4, exhale 4, hold 4—like tracking the four sides of a box.
• Triangle Breathing—Inhale 4, hold 4, exhale 4. No second hold—just a smooth return to the inhale. Imagine tracing the three sides of a triangle as you breathe. This version feels gentler and easier if holding your breath feels uncomfortable.

Science: Slow, rhythmic breathing activates the parasympathetic “rest and digest” system, lowering heart rate and calming the body.

Putting It Together: Urge Surfing + Grounding

Here’s how these skills work together when a craving hits:

1. Notice the craving—Acknowledge it gently: “Here comes the wave.”
2. Surf the wave—Breathe, observe, and remind yourself that the craving will rise, peak, and most importantly, fade.
3. Drop your anchor—Use a grounding technique to steady yourself until the urge passes.

Over time, this practice reduces the power that cravings seem to have. Instead of feeling swept away, you’ll continue to feel more capable of choosing how you want to respond. Be patient and kind with yourself as you use a new skill; it can take time!

A Kinder Approach to Alcohol Moderation

At Moderation Management (MM), we believe change isn’t about willpower or perfection. It’s about learning skills, practicing self-compassion, and finding strategies that fit FOR YOU. Urge surfing and grounding are just two tools in a larger alcohol moderation toolkit that helps you stay present, reduce anxiety, and build confidence.

Question: Have you tried urge surfing or grounding before? Which one will you practice this week? Share your experience in the comments—your story might be exactly what someone else needs today.