Why Dryuary Isn’t All It’s Cracked Up To Be

So, you’re nearly two weeks into this Dryuary thing, and all the things you’re reading about the Dryuary benefits are just not happening for you. Believe me, you’re not alone.

The media claims that we’ll sleep better, lose weight, repair our broken relationships, think more clearly and have more energy when we take 30 days off from drinking. Yet you’re still not sleeping (maybe even sleeping worse), still not losing weight (maybe even gaining it), even snarkier with your loved ones, and are still walking around in a pea-soup brain fog.

What gives? Why the heck are we not seeing all these miraculous benefits of Dryuary?!

The answers aren’t simple, but let’s explore this a little. Dryuary expectations don’t unfold the same way for everyone. The benefits will come, but not all at once, and definitely not always within the first couple of weeks.

Sleep: Why It Can Get Worse Before It Gets Better

Sleep—ahhhh, the elusive 8 solid hours.

First of all, SO many factors affect our sleep, not just alcohol. But when we remove alcohol from the equation, our body is going to wonder what the heck is going on. We’ve been using booze to help numb our bodies into sleep-submission, and now we can’t GET to sleep. Even though our sleep quality wasn’t the best while we were drinking, it may not feel much better so far. The reality is that it takes time for the body to believe that we’re going to let it fully restore itself overnight. Our brains have become accustomed to the cycle of alcohol-induced sedation followed by the 3am cortisol spike as our body works to rid itself of the very toxins that helped us get to sleep in the first place. Now, we’re asking it to figure it out without that chemical support.

We might need some help to get us started, but let’s be patient. Keep trying different things to support your sleep right now—Sleepytime tea, a warm bath, reading instead of scrolling before bed, lots of fresh air, and exercise. Try some sleep supplements, meditate, white noise… whatever it takes. None of these will hurt, and alone or in combination, they can only help.

Weight Loss: Why the Scale Might Not Budge (Yet)

Another Dryuary promise: weight loss. And yet the scale isn’t moving, or our jeans feel even tighter than they did before! Why the heck are we doing this to ourselves? Remember, you were ingesting literally hundreds of empty calories in the form of alcohol, and your body now needs to figure out where it’s going to get that extra energy from now. Even if we continue to eat well, our incredibly sophisticated physiological machine realizes it either needs to ask for more calories in some other form or hang on to the ones we do give it.

You might crave sugar to replace the sugar in the alcohol or carbs for added short-term energy. So, here’s a tip: let your body have what it needs right now. And if you can figure out a healthy substitute, even better. Think fruit for sugar cravings, nuts for salty cravings, rice instead of pasta, and avocados for healthy fats. But if you’re reaching for more chocolate, cookies, or chips, understand what your body is asking for and why. Even if you don’t make healthy food choices right now, you’re responding to the needs that eliminating alcohol has created. You can clean up your diet later. Right now, give yourself some grace.

Mood Changes: When the “Light and Airy” Feeling Doesn’t Show Up

And how about our moods? Why aren’t we experiencing that light and airy feeling we expected when we stopped drinking? We might even be feeling a bit sad, or grumpy, or just plain blah. Again, it takes time for our brains to catch up with the changes we’re making this month. Many of us use alcohol to deal with negative moods, and now we’re left to face those—head-on—without the ability to escape. What are we to do with these feelings when we’re so used to suppressing them?

Journaling is one tactic many use. Write it down and process it as it comes out the tip of your pen (or fingers if you use a keyboard). Talk it out with a trusted friend or family member. Sometimes speaking the thoughts out loud makes it easier to process them. Better still, talk to a professional. These feelings came from somewhere, and understanding that can help us make sense of them. The one thing you can’t do is minimize or ignore those feelings. They are part of who you are, and part of Dryuary is getting back to who we were before drinking became a normal part of our lives. Find your authentic self again, and learn to love yourself—warts and all. That’s where you find the light and airiness you’re looking for.

Brain Fog: Supporting Your Mind as It Recalibrates

Finally, the brain fog. How and when will we start to think clearly again? There is no better time to treat ourselves with kindness and compassion. Get curious about what’s happening in your body and brain, and start thinking of ways you can support it. If it’s rest you need, take a break. Lie down in the afternoon, even if only for 15 minutes. Be still and breathe, and let your mind and body restore itself. Or, stimulate your brain in a way you haven’t for a long time. Get back to that guitar you picked at years ago and never kept up with. Or finish that painting you started before your kids were born, and hang it on a wall for everyone to see the fruits of your creative efforts. Our brain is a wonderful, amazing machine, and it wants to give us everything we need. Sometimes we just need to give it a chance.

Reframing Dryuary Expectations

Here’s the thing. Dryuary can feel like a punishment: like we’re depriving ourselves of alcohol because we have been overdoing it for far too long. We jump into this month-long sentence a little begrudgingly, feeling like we need to prove to ourselves (or someone else) that we can do it. But white-knuckling only gets us so far, and willpower eventually runs out.

When we don’t see all those health benefits everyone talks about right away, it can be discouraging. But if we approach this month as a gift to our mind, body, and soul, wrapped in self-love and compassion, we stand a much better chance of really feeling all the good things that a month-long break from alcohol can give us.

If Dryuary feels harder—or more complicated—than you expected, you don’t have to figure it out alone. Moderation Management offers tools, meetings, Kickstart courses, and a supportive community for people who want a more flexible, compassionate relationship with alcohol, during Dryuary and beyond.

Photo by Annie Spratt on Unsplash